Agape

So the girl with flaxen hair

was never there

Nor the dark  

unrequited rose

 for whom I pined

Nor her with Italian eyes

Or that Spanish smile 

I left so long ago

it was me 

they could not see 

or  love 

I was me, my, mine, 

I did not know.

the very land seen 

From the ferry

I was far too out to sea

to understand.

adrift- 

on the horizon

Looking back to shore. 

standing there

looking at my own

Consciousnesses reflection

Weaving on my 

solitude loom 

Distraught 

Waving good bye

At train stations 

docks or airports 

I am just this 

self sustaining

feed back loop

Waiting in the rain

For the train to come again

But I  know now

She will not be on it

 I cannot make anyone feel

real for me

Not if I waited a lifetime 

by these tracks,

To gain  a pail shadow 

of the eternal sun

I am the  poet between worlds

I am shadow in the doorway

Sal and sulph

The ever seeker

The track side poet of longing 

Never knowing 

the direction 

I am going 

I am the motherless child

Always looking for a touch of

Pallas Athena’s ashen smile

Always seeking solace in her eyes

That she might

say 

she cares

With a benediction 

So much effort and at what cost? 

And in the end all I had to say was lost

But take it all,  take it  all away

I am

Sometimes 

Eros gone astray

Artemis’ eyes fixed on me,

Demanding my subjugation 

Yet Agape was my  horizon

I could not fulfil it

But in love with love

Found in finding it;

all of it a kiss

all of it exquisite .