How

How do I breath

From in to out

How does my heart still beat, flow and ebb.

How do my thoughts arise

In the pool of mind.

By what do I smile.

In which capacity function.

Each nerve cell alive to loss

How do I swallow,

pain now my air

How step.

One foot at a time 

One breath

One exhale 

One effort, one pure will

One day after another

Ever sun

Oh my little girl, 

you unfurled

into the world, 

Un curled  

Slipped warm into my hands

flung your arms  wide

to fly 

I held you newly born

felt your first breaths. 

your eyes opened 

springtime shining.

You came loved beyond love

You played in the dew,

picked the daffodils, 

shone butter cup pearls on your chin

Danced with your siblings

ran the mountain’s backs 

on bluebell banks and wooded Gelli 

Hyacinth smiling eyes 

May tree Laughing  

under the spray of  it’s spring fling flung cream scented blossoms  

This was your day 

By the white streams you dreamed 

and loved and bloomed 

in the splash of a moments beam 

Hunting crayfish and fossils  

Splitting rocks

Your spirit always flowing

 toward the wild 

 Sand shore ocean. 

Growing into the silent

 and the exquisite flowering of your peace.

we pleaded, we begged, never, never  

words can never say...

we bear the unbearable.

 

Beggars at the feast  

I held you first and last.

 In every minute, 

every so slow second of existence. 

You have become, 

Ever young, 

shinning among  the fields 

of everlasting sun.

Brill

Your hidden brilliance

Is dimond resilience

  You decide the luminance  

the honesty you shine 

Holding back is no way to love 

No way to give Christ like, 

full on In Magdalena’s arms 

Her soft perfume hands in his hair

 Her lips so close 

There is no sensible among the senseless 

 No fear or dalliance …

 More I’ll fly in the face of reliance  

In this world and the next  

I will never bend my knee to The ordinary 

admin security  

My Quaker silence is not compliance  

I  un comply  everything  

All of it. Forever.

Blue angels and Whales

Blue Angles and whales

my spirit swims the slip stream with them 

In the azure dappled 

Drifting dreams of them

Under wave 

Thermal Undercurrent 

Lazy lulling in the kelp

until  atlantic rollers thunder

crash me down 

drowning in salt 

sea and sand 

and all the foam of spray 

I am broken shell and drift wood

me on the side lines

Flotsam and jetsam 

Me on the margins

Smiling at the tide turns

Blue Angles and whales

Surround me happy

Float me away, 

lead me to depths

in the midnight slow waters

following shoals 

in the silver shimmer 

to the exquisite 

under-horizon

Sun lemon

We run the falling air.

Slam the closing door 

And open the vacuum heart with White pure  fear. 

But I will not

Cannot

Refuse this

And Will not flinch 

And will not fall to despair 

But stare Satan out and down his gun barrel throat, until a new world comes to squeeze all his putrid filth out.

Do I dare test my faith?

Do I Lilly livered dare believe? 

to the uttermost 

Yes to the gun point

To the jagged edge.

Sideways to the high blue Sunday sky, 

another horizon, another life, 

seeps perfume from the rose garden walls of heaven, music faraway, kids playing, 

this worlds sepia lustre 

receding in the haze

Somewhere very very far away the sea-children laugh and play in the sparkling waves and leaping spray 

Inside out

Inside the chemicals congeal

Outside the delicate fibres seal

And burn out cells, exquisite solutions, that hold a distant summers minute, a promise curdles, dissolves in water.

Inside the heart sap seeps,

Weeps, broken dreams and deep Betrayals. electric protein 

Particles  synthesise memories 

secrete secret looks and gentle touches

 and tender words 

and long dead smiles.

 Poured out, diluted, distilled, 

washed  away in the morning rain.

Daze

Days spilt like wine in sand

Forgotten broken days that stain 

The earths days, sky spun skin Days 

Days held in chemical suspension 

Days draining from my complexion 

Days gone,  

split days,

 spent days days that cut me open

Days to come 

falling forevermore over the event horizon

2014 night

Mid night and the past flows in the stillness 

Silk images of the loved

In the silent house

In the breath of  the sleeping

The hall clock chimes

Canvas of my inner eye

In the other of Anwfn

A door is opening

Blink

By nothing was nothing made

That breath that broke across the dust

That turned the light in fusion on

un heard, un seen the first ignition

In all eternity

The first star 

The first  pulse

And should this little mind not care

At the enormity of it all

And say what was this half life lived in total ignorance

Of any meaning

In the blink of an eternal eye

Adminman

Spring in  the apparatchik world where administration rules

So you can talk to him and her to you, admin begats admin

File a kiss under A 

For anaesthetised and E for everyone 

We burnt our bridges to the sun

we crossed the land of our life, under this translucent sky

Us band of wide eyed fools

Carefree of destination or arrival.

Through the road works we drove mile on mile

Light splashed and flashed through the trees

Played on our skin and flickered in our eyes, in toward our hearts and still we raced, through suburban hell and city swell, through the surreal unreal of this our little time. Our sweet so bitter short lives. 

Counting the seconds like miles of office blocks and laughing , I am here you said, to tell you all, to shake you all and beg you all, to reach in and give it all away,

 I know what it is we all want to say 

To take off our snake skin suits, that we might

just once, 

with no obstruction

reach the finality 

and feel our existence 

in one totality.

Make it up

Make-up, mask up

hide, hidden

those who really love a women

 love her face naked, free

love their smile un-slicked

bare faced cheek

and bare faced lies

let women be themselves

not a sad Disney fantasy

to back up male inadequacy

Vega man

Because of our coming

the sea turned sour

with the insoluble artificial.

On land the trees fell

on the fallow field 

like executed heretics  

of the enslaved arboreal 

and bovine bondage, 

mother’s Milk, the white blood brood

of her killed son, screams

in our viens

We blast the pink flesh

from the six week lambs

because of our coming

agony’s exhalations choke the sky

And we of the ‘Old Country’, long that Dyfed turn sideways to the sun

and be empty wild again

so that we could see 

the rolling naked  body of the land,

birth and breeth beauty onward-flowing

No more the vampire rapist 

that with ravishing strides,  

moves toward this suicidal end.

no more killer, flesh devouring man

If only we could, 

step 

beyond 

and past ourselves 

bring to life 

not farm to death

elusion the illusion 

To walk like flowering angels

 in the fecund mud

Computer

When the first computer kills

When the first computer stoops to love

When robots walk Buchenwald  soil

When machines  see beauty and weep

When machines come in silicon spray

When the artificial mind looks up at the endless

When the first ai blows it's brains out

And curses the creator

Beloved earth

The suffix of my passion, the breath of

Beating pulse

the vein of delicate red 

the ozone blue i soak in

My beloved ocean earth

I have looked up at the infinite

Looked in on frailty

And felt the desperation of fear

At the back of thought

Of humanity

May the sun shine in the darkest corner

And excavate the truth

Impression

The impressions I leave

Crystal breath on midnight air

Stillness under an oak

Foot fall in the forest mud 

Chemical on photograph

Pixels on the lcd

The impressions I pressure on clay

My Fossils of life

The sink I make on pillows

Foot prints by the sea

My kiss 

The channels on the inside of my skull

And this backwater of time 

on this

Forgotten day

 This Gentle rain that soaks all this

 away