Driven

The life you make

Is driven by your inner state 

The driving of your pain

The falling rain

The Desert sun

All you are is  will

Your will be done

On earth

Because you’re not in heaven

I raged at at this state and

took the harder way

I took resistance against myself

But these my paths I dug

were mostly wrong 

Some gave me no choice but to move on

With Some I simply had to bite the bullet and run 

Some made me weak 

others made me strong 

Some opened locked doors

All these

my egregious flaws

I saw behind the doors.

those that I cannot redress and those that leave  me floored

all those doors I feared to open, 

And all the open gates i shut 

 I self sabotaged my success 

Raged against my inner fate.

But in the end, 

as time slips fingers

and  I sit here mellowed

and alone 

Waiting by the phone

I see in these my many roads

I roamed 

That I was only ever really 

Looking for my way back home 

And home

Is always love.

Finding me

2013

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

The Azure

I can never be sure of God,

but I am sure there is love, 

healing.

if Love is God 

then I can be sure, 

if not secure, 

Of a higher being

I can see and feel the sun,

and am sure of its brightness 

If I can be sure of its light

and that God is light 

Then there is an end to my endless night.

I cannot be sure of me

the fleeting 'he', 

a once given adverb. 

As I swim in the saline sea 

and see this me 

I know what is dark and cold, 

wrong from right. 

sure  on the shore of mortal solitude 

That I am bright 

in this ocean of azure light

Meeting sacred

I said to you when first we met

that when the swallow skims 

The liminal evening

I am awe struck by its simplicity

I am in Meeting with its flight

And When the sun infuses

Photosynthesis in 

The alchemy that the leaf brings 

we are in Meeting

With hidden things

When the breath breathes me

And I hear my blood pulse  

far away someone is speaking  

Some one exhaling God  

We are in light’s communion   

We in Meeting Merged.

But at my lowest ebb

Or high tide-gathered   

focused in on visceral   

Darkling things

You will find me un met

Without and within   

on my own  

Singular still.

  Sitting in the deep  settled,  

gathered in  

Softly Weighty.

But abstract 

Down the barrel of a camera

I am Zoomed, 

digitally distressed, 

plagued and far from home. 

In the un holy virtual real  

The concrete unforgivable steel.

Of theory religion 

Then

Only the mountains 

hold their secret sacraments still

Still sacred silent wooded hills

 here I am again meeting you 

In Meeting.  

And in meeting you I’m met.